37 Weeks and Thoughts

I'm 37 weeks (tomorrow).

Regular clothes (I wear the same 5 shirts everyday I feel like)

Nighttime clothes like all my other pictures.

Obviously there are no more comparison pictures from Cason's pregnancy.  My doctor and I are now "joking" that I'll be begging her for an induction at 39 weeks.  I've said all along that I'll be prepared for 35 but will go 41 and be the most miserable, complainy second-time mom ever.  And this is pretty much how it's shaping up.

Ryan and I both have bags packed.  The infant seat is installed in the car.  I have everything I need for the first days home... the bottles and pumps are out of their boxes, newborn and 0-3 clothes are washed, swings and bouncy seats are ready.  I'm READY... but I guess Claire is not.  Keep on cooking.

***Warning, post gets really long now and I don't have the energy to proofread tonight :)  ***

I realized I haven't really done a good job of keeping up with the "feelings" and other details of this pregnancy like I did with Cason.  I don't feel "guilty" about it like you sometimes here people say about their second and thirds but I do realize I wish I'd written more down about this pregnancy.  So, here are a few things I want to remember.

Like with Cason, I was sick for all of the first trimester and into the second.  With this pregnancy, the sickness wore off about 4 weeks sooner and I was able to eat most things a good two months sooner.  And once I started feeling better, I ate... which means I gained weight.  This was new for me since I didn't eat much until about 25 weeks and still never really ate a ton with Cason.  I only gained 17 pounds the entire pregnancy.  For record keeping purposes, I've gained almost 40 pounds with Claire... and I guess there is more to go.

I haven't "enjoyed" being pregnant... it's just not my thing I guess.  I don't know if I really ever want to do it again.  But, I don't think that takes anything away from my excitement about this little girl that is about to join our family.

I'm tired, a lot.  I don't remember being this tired and exhausted with Cason but Ryan says that I was.  I'm sure chasing Cason around has a lot to do with it this time too.

Ryan also tells me that I really don't complain more this time than I did last time... which is really sweet of him.  I think he's lying!  :)  I'm uncomfortable and FEEL huge but when I look at myself in the mirror I don't feel like I look huge.  But, it's funny because I'll be out and one person will say "Oh, you are the cutest thing, there is no way you are that far along" then another person will say "Oh my, you are about to pop".   Ha.  Then, I took this picture for this week and I realized... I do look like I'm about to pop... I look as big as I feel... I guess the mirrors in our house are the skinny kind!  :)  Must be the awesome builder!  

Claire is a very active little girl.  I mostly remember with Cason that he was kicking me in my ribs... ALL.THE.TIME... he just hung out with his feet up in my ribs.  Claire has never made it up to my ribs but she is all over the place.  She's "head down" but man, she can still get some good kicks and jabs and rolls all over the place.  And, they hurt!  I do love feeling her move but sometimes I wish she'd just lay off a little!  :)   At any given time, you could probably put your hand on the side of my belly and feel her foot (or hand or knee or elbow) pushing out.  But you don't even have to feel it... my belly just looks like a rolling ocean most of the time.  It's cool and freaky all at the same time.

The other big part of this pregnancy has been the anxiety.  I'm sure that sounds very dramatic, but I feel that the anxiety of #2 is way worse than #1.  Maybe with #1 there is so much new, so much to figure out, so much to do that I didn't have time to worry about life after baby.  Maybe because my world revolves around Cason now, I realize how challenging things will be with him and Claire to provide for.  I don't know what all the factors are but I feel like I think about the "how am I going to do this???" questions a whole lot more.  I know we'll survive... we aren't the first people to have 2 kids, in diapers, ha.  But it's hard to just let go and know it will be okay... especially when you add in the anxiety of "when's she going to arrive" that I probably would not have had Cason not come so early.

I guess the last thing to document is how Cason is doing with this.  He really doesn't "get it" but then I think he sort of does.  Up until very recently, if you ask him to say "Claire" he would look you straight in the face and say "No".  Now, Cason does say "No" to everything (Me: "Do you want a cookie?"; C: "No"; Me: "Okay, fine"; C: "Coooooookie!!!!"; Me: "Yeah, that's what I thought") but the no in response to "Can you say Claire" had its own special inflection.  But, despite that, he learned about a month ago to point at my belly when you say "Where's Baby Claire?".  And finally yesterday he started to say Claire.   He would previously say "C-C" and sometimes we could get "sister" but that was it.  He knows what a baby is and has been around babies at school so I know it won't be a total shock to him.  But, who knows what he'll think when the baby comes home with him every day???